MR JOHN LENNON: a chair of a hair
MR PETER MCDADA The philosophers Stone
MR KING KONG: A ballet shoe covered in segs
MR PAUL KLEE: Alchemy and lipstick
MR ROBIN CROZIER: False teeth in the fog
MISS LIZA MINELLI: A blue book
MR JESUS CHRIST: An invisible butterfly
MR MICKEY MOUSE: An elevator of eyelashes
MR DON QUITOXE: A cloud in a Doc Martin
MR KEN DODD: A burning matchbox
MRS MARGARET THATCHER: A strangled glove
MR LEONARDO DA VINCI: An anatomical map of a shapely moustache
MR JACKSON POLLOCK: Washing up left after undressing the Sunset
THE WHORE OF BABYLON: Frogs nostrils in a stone
MISS MOTHER TERESA: Seven white nails
MR IGOR STRAVINSKI Three rusty
MR NEIL KINNOCK: Dead birthday cards
MISS STATUE OF LIBERTY: Dinner plates of blood
MR HENRY MOORE: A drunken dwarf
MR GEORGE BRAQUE: A mosquito wearing ballet shoes
MISS RAISA GORBACHOF: Snapshots of Iggy Pop’s funeral
MR FRANK BRUNO: Lips the size of two tractor tyres
MR ALESSANDRO BOTTICELLI: A breast peppered with drawing pins
MR CYCLOPS: An extra eye for cinemas
MR CHARLES ATLAS: A conch shell of penguins naughty bits
MR FREDDY MERCURY: Nothing
MISS ELIZABETH TAYLOR: A bungalow of ears
MR WINSTON CHURCHILL: Hedgehog vomit
MR OSCAR WILDE: A script of what the Devil might say
MR WILLIAM BLAKE: A love letter from Hell
MR BATMAN: Jelly hanging ambivalently in a nylon stocking
MISS FERGIE: Melvyn Bragg’s phone number
MR ABRAHAM LINCOLN: A ticket for Marat/Sade
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………
MRS SUE LAWLEY: Orson Welles’ brain
MR LAURENCE OLIVIER: A department store of liver sandwiches
MR JASPER JOHNS: Oven gloves
MISS KATE BUSH: Blurred polaroids of a dead horse hanging in a tree
MR YVES ST. LAURENT: Cat paws dipped in Mushroom Soup
MR KENNY DALGLEISH: Essay of Heisenberg’s Indeterminate Principle
MISS MARILYN MONROE: A pornographic radiator
MR MICHAELANGELO: Tape recording of the Dulux dog panting
MR GENGHIS KHAN: A street map of Bradford
MR EL GRECO: Six red lightbulbs
MISS MARGERY PROOPS: Parsley, horseradish and saliva
MR TOM JONES: The rain on Mars
MR JOHN CAGE: A manuscript for Silence
MR CLAES OLDENBURG: Fish fingers nailed to a door
MR DANNY LA RUE: A moth that can talk backwards
MISS ANITA EKBERG: A bent javelin
MISS JOAN RIVERS: A map of Outer Mongolia
MIS MARGOT FONTEYN: An envelope of feathers
MR RUDOLF VALENTINO: An otters credit card
MR NAPOLEON: X-rays of a sad heart
MR NELSON MANDELA: Small ears in a jam jar
MISS CHER: More clothes
MR MAX ERNST: A wordless book
MR SPIKE MILLIGAN: A one-eyed cuttlefish with a lisp
MISS JOAN COLLINS: Duchamp’s “Fresh Widow” ready-made
MR CHARLES DICKENS An ounce of Red Leb
MISS VIRGINIA WOOLF: Headstones
MR ALBERTO GIACOMETTI: Siouxsie Sioux’s eyelashes
MIS WORLD: A cheerful platypus that only says “Nom, nom”
MR ERIC CLAPTON: Polaroids of the Pope in frogman’s gear
MR ANTONIN ARTAUD: A bullet and used lipstick
MR FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTERs: The Bible
MR CASANOVA: Anatomical map of Louise Brooks